XProfan

- Page 1 -

in a whose geistes-kid these - but its genial true.

03/28/05 ▲

Michael
Dell

Genial! Hab_mir_vor_Lachen_in_die_Hosen_gemacht 5.0

deference!!

Häufiges perform the Programs well,_fällt_Dir_was_auf 13.4 lead under Umständen to that start of Ich_geh_nur_mal_eben_Zigaretten_holen 21.2 the program cache important Systemdateien unauffindbar without The husband 1.0 not any more launched go can!!!!

Salu Michael...

Hab zwar krumme Fieß awer dofir e' ecklich Gsicht!

03/28/05 ▲

Dietmar
Horn

How computer functions

whom most of us is clear, that the english word computer of Verb compute (calculate, value) comes, that one computer So one computer or Schätzer is. but yet always there many Zeitgenossen, The Perhaps straight first begin, itself of these complex Topic something hither To befassen. this item should all jenen help, The not one Spielbuben (Game Boy) aufgewachsen are and the not already of kid on all these confounding terms as an native tongue on natürlichem ways erlernen could.

Mutterbrett and Riesenbiss

begin we Perhaps with the einfachen Things, The we see, touch and so too yet realize can! any Bausteine one Schätzers go as Hartware (hardware) marks. its very important, that one with the selection the Hartware sorgsam is, because only on guter Hartware can The Weichware (software) correctly. quick walk. with the Hartware is the Mutterbrett (motherboard) of besonderer weight. the Mutterbrett should among other things with a Schnitzsatz (chip set) of Intel ausgerüstet his. so too anspruchsvolle Weichware well runs, should at least 1024 Riesenbiss (megabyte) recollection (memory) installed his. naturally heard next to the 3 ½ -inch-Schlappscheibentreiber (floppy disk drive) too one Dichtscheiben-read-only-recollection (CD-ROM: Compact-Disc-Read-Only-Memory) to Grundausrüstung. an Hartscheibe (harddisk) with zweihundert Gigantischbiss (gigabyte) might for next two To three years enough Space for Weichware and data afford. we're our personal Schätzer (PC) too to that play using want, should we next to the mouse too yet a Freudenstock (joystick) and a good Schallbrett (soundboard) procure.

Winzigweich and Kraftpunkt

so, so are now The optimalen Grundlagen for installation and pursued the Weichware created! so The Weichware on ours Hartware at all walk can, need it one Betriebssystem. it recommend itself today, one solches with a graphic user-Zwischengesicht (graphical user interface) To install. particularly far common are The systems Winzigweich-Window 98 (Microsoft windows 98) and the newer Window XP the equal Herstellers. for people, The with their Schätzer anspruchsvolle works manage want, there under Window 95 the berühmte office workmanlike (Office professional). this Erzeugnis exists from whom latest expenses the Weichwaren word, Übertreff, Kraftpunkt and grabbed (Word, Excel, Powerpoint and Access). so stand the user any important functions How Wortveredelung (word processing), Ausbreitblatt (spreadsheet), Präsentationsgraphik and Datenstützpunkt-treatment (database management) available.

Aufsteller and Einsetzer

who self gladly Applications develops, can this under Window in example with the modernen visible Grundlegend (visual basic) do. naturally there to the use too gewisse obstacles To overcome. The Weichware must first via Aufsteller (setup) or Einsetzer (install) on the Hartscheibe arranged go. the can very plenty (to) take time, as they original on Schlappscheiben supplied watts. the arrange ex Dichtscheibe is very plenty angenehmer and faster. unfortunately to put but here The Aufsteller often ask, The of many incomprehensible Begriffen only so abounding. but The want we some other time distinguished.

Multimedia für Jugendliche und junge Erwachsene - MMJ Hoyerswerda e.V. [...]

Windows 95 bis Windows 7
Profan² 6.6 bis XProfan X2 mit XPSE

Das große XProfan-Lehrbuch: [...]

Dietmar
Horn

The (X)Profaner-Erlkönig

who tastet itself atnight The fingers damp?
its the (X)Profaner with seinem Program!
it tastet and tastet. it tastet quick,
in the east becomes the sky already bright.

his hair is ergraut, its Hands shivering,
of unablässigen Kernspeicherfüttern.
there - from the Kernspeicher ertönt one whisper
who poltert in my Basisregister?

only quiet, only quiet, your loves Bits,
its still only one small joke.
my champion, my champion, look time there!
there in front creep itself one omen away!

stay quiet, stay quiet, my dear kid,
I fetch it again. for sure!
my champion, Roland, hear You the Grollen?
The wildly Bits by the Kernspeicher tollen!

only quiet, only quiet, the having we same,
The Lock we into Pufferbereich.
it tastet and tastet How besessen,
shit - now has it the Saven forget!

The Profaner scream in highest distress,
there shrug by the Window one Sonnenstrahl.
The screen shimmering in the Morgenrot,
the Program died, the computer is dead!

Multimedia für Jugendliche und junge Erwachsene - MMJ Hoyerswerda e.V. [...]

Windows 95 bis Windows 7
Profan² 6.6 bis XProfan X2 mit XPSE

Das große XProfan-Lehrbuch: [...]

Dietmar
Horn

The Datenübertragungs-Erlkönig

who routet so late through night and wind?
its the Router, it routet geschwind!
soon routet it here, soon routet it there
however The Pakete, tappt im dunkeln come not away.

tappt im dunkeln collect and drängeln itself, Waiting right long
in a To squat priorisierten queue.
The twisted are fully, the Router in the Stress,
there reports itself vorlaut the Routingprozess ...

... and calls: All your pack, your sorgt you To plenty,
not the IP-Host, No, the lane is the target!
it come quite soon one each To good
a sorgsam mapped and loopfreie route.

the Netzes verschlungene Topologie
entwirr I with Dijkstras ceremony.
The wage, a delightful Routingtabelle,
there stehn even routes To sky and hell.

Vergiftet the Rückweg, the field of vision clove,
with RIP becomes The world only to that fools held.
still OSPF search quick and easily
my integrally and quite autonomes system.

for kunstvolle routes, the forget Please never,
needed one Kenntnis the Topologie.
To Überraschungs- and Managementzwecken
durchsuch I with RMON The hintersten corners.

no Winkel the Netzes remaining to me hidden,
with SNMP can I everything procure.
Wohlan now, your pack, The trip begins,
with eachone Station Your lifetime rinnt.

still hold, your pack, before ichs forget:
provides you with NAT a new address!
my Router, my Router, what becomes me so bang!
The lane by the WAN is dangerous and long.

my pack, my pack, so fürchte you not,
because over you wakens a Sicherungsschicht.
my Router, my Router, what becomes me so flau!
there outside on the LAN-Port, there wait The MAU!

my pack, my pack you threatening not the demise,
because over you wakens Yes the Manchester-code.
still stops you remote from the flammenden wall.
The sorgt self by me yet for afraid shower.

my Router, my Router, How glänzt there fully Tücke
the schmale and slippery lane on the bridge.
Oh painful! the network is with Broadcasts geflutet.
alas would have I still never to bridge geroutet!

my pack, whom head high, You must not verzagen,
on you will never one Bitfehler carriages.
quick How the wind goes The trip now moreover
through helle and sparkling Lichtwellenleiter.

my pack, my pack, want You with me weg?
The wonder the Frame-Relay-Netzes standing?
my Router, my Router, Yes hear Thou not,
what The WAN-cloud lockend me quiet promising?

mean me, my pack, in the LAN, there entgeht
you anyhow Lebens- and Dienstqualität.
trip only moreover quite quiet and sacht
athwart durchs ATM-network with FRF.8 .

my Router, my Router, one has me seduces,
zerlegt, verschaltet and rekombiniert!
my pack, that doesn't matter, now save we plenty,
one VPN-tunnel, the bring you ans target.

DiffSERV and TOS-area, merk you The words,
The open To each Router The Pforte.
Finster the tunnel, The bandwidth concise,
How beautiful was The Backplane in the own Hub.

on the end the tunnel: the pack is lane,
vernichtet of Cyclic Redundancy Check ...

Multimedia für Jugendliche und junge Erwachsene - MMJ Hoyerswerda e.V. [...]

Windows 95 bis Windows 7
Profan² 6.6 bis XProfan X2 mit XPSE

Das große XProfan-Lehrbuch: [...]

Dietmar
Horn

Rotkäppchen (How the XProfan it its Kindern tells)

once upon a time one small, süßes lassie, the always one Käppchen from rotem velvet wore. because of this Attributes sustained it one Assign #1 under the symbolischen names Rotkäppchen.

one Day spoke The mother's: Rotkäppchen, The health your grandmother has a Interrupt get. we must one Patchprogramm develop and to grandmother bring, around the trouble To solve. Verirre you however not woods the middle-aged Languages, separate go only strukturierte ways.

Nutze thereby always a Hochspache the 4. generation, then goes it the grandmother quick again well. and respect hereon, that your Patchprogramm OOP-orientiert is, so it The grandmother not yet More charged.

there the lane to that House the grandmother right long was, met Rotkäppchen whom wicked wolf. it doing very user-friendly, having in the Background however already a discontinue program.

During Rotkäppchen one GOTO in that Blumenfeld made, went the wolf in the Direktzugriff to grandmother and vereinnahmte tappt im dunkeln without delay through one Delete.

without To linger given it itself whom appearance compatible To his and took The logische visibility the grandmother on. then laid it itself in her Speicherbereich.

a short while later lokalisierte too Rotkäppchen The address the grandmother and trod into Speicherraum.

to installation the Patchprogramms made Rotkäppchen as a precaution one Verify and asked: egg grandmother, Why have you got so large eyes? - because I pleased Endbenutzer seen have. -

egg grandmother, Why have you got so large ears? - so I The Opportunities the User rather understand can. -

egg grandmother, Why have you got so one ghastly large Maul? - so I you rather canceln can!

Sprach´s and took the poor thing as Input.

After one Logoff begab itself the wolf to silence, slept one and began loudly To snore.

as the Jäger on seinem Loop by the woods on the House the grandmother past coming, saw it through one Window whom wolf in the Speicherplatz lying.

find I you here, You old Hacker, spoke it, I have you long sought!

as Kenner the scene analysierte it immediate, that to whom regulate the Booleschen algebra The grandmother only stomach the Wolfes his could. it took its Parser, shared whom stomach the Wolfes in several Sektoren and made, welch´ joy, grandmother and the Rotkäppchen again To autonomen Modulen.

as Input for clear stomach the Wolfes took tappt im dunkeln many Kilobyte stones and finished The operation with a Close.

as the wolf wakening, causing it his dermaßen aufgeblähter Hauptspeicher such smart, that it in a mortal Memory Error miserable zugrunde went.

there were any vergnügt.

the Patchprogramm aktivierte The grandmother.

Rotkäppchen but thought: You want your Lebtag never again one GOTO make, separate only yet strukturierte ways weg, How dir´s The mother's geboten has.

XProfan-Roland schmunzelte, felt itself in its GOTO-opinion confirm - and entfernte whom GOTO-commands to that Happiness nevertheless NOT from XProfan ...

Multimedia für Jugendliche und junge Erwachsene - MMJ Hoyerswerda e.V. [...]

Windows 95 bis Windows 7
Profan² 6.6 bis XProfan X2 mit XPSE

Das große XProfan-Lehrbuch: [...]

- Page 2 -

Dietmar
Horn

The Supercomputer

Amerikanische scientist having a Supercomputer develops, the allegedly everything know should!

One buy-Interessent would like it naturally to the buy testing and position a Testfrage:

where is my brother to Time?, wants it of computer know.

The scientist give The question one and the computer rechnet, then druckt it from: your brother sits in the machine LH474 to Peking! it wants there with the firm Osuhushi a treaty in Höhe of 2 Mio. dollars close over The Delivery of ... [further diskrete Information followed].

The Buyer was keen but wished yet a Test having:

where is my father to Time straight?

again rechnet the computer and druckt from: your father sits on the Mississippi and angelt!

Hah! scream the Buyer potential Buyer on: knew ich’s still, that these Blechkiste not everything white! my father is since 7 years dead!

The scientist are aghast, consider and give then The question once more to control one.

The computer rechnet longer and druckt:

dead is the GATTE IHRER MUTTER! your VATER sits on the Mississippi and angelt!

Multimedia für Jugendliche und junge Erwachsene - MMJ Hoyerswerda e.V. [...]

Windows 95 bis Windows 7
Profan² 6.6 bis XProfan X2 mit XPSE

Das große XProfan-Lehrbuch: [...]

Dietmar
Horn

Nadelstiche

The IBM-boss, the Apple-boss and Bill Gates are died and come into sky.

means Petrus: for each Error in eurem Betriebssystem there a stitch!

exit the IBM boss to. means Petrus In row 1992671 lying one schwerer Error to! means one stitch!

now exit the Apple boss to, it get 4 Nadelstiche.

After kurzer Time notice tappt im dunkeln, that Bill Gates disappeared is.

where is really Bill? ask tappt im dunkeln Petrus.

whom tense we straight under The sewing-machine!

Multimedia für Jugendliche und junge Erwachsene - MMJ Hoyerswerda e.V. [...]

Windows 95 bis Windows 7
Profan² 6.6 bis XProfan X2 mit XPSE

Das große XProfan-Lehrbuch: [...]

Dietmar
Horn

Computerstrahlung

scientist wanted to know, whether Computerstrahlung harmful is.

tappt im dunkeln blocked three Ratten with a angeschalteten computer in a Käfig, given feed and waters To and were the whole for a week so stand.

and, are The Ratten sick become? - No, but you've three new Turbo-Pascal- and five new Logo-versions program!

Multimedia für Jugendliche und junge Erwachsene - MMJ Hoyerswerda e.V. [...]

Windows 95 bis Windows 7
Profan² 6.6 bis XProfan X2 mit XPSE

Das große XProfan-Lehrbuch: [...]

04/02/05 ▲

Dietmar
Horn

Yesterday

Yesterday, All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly, There´s hardship helped the files there used to be,
And there´s a milestone hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly.

I pushed something wrong
What it what I could hardship say.
Now all my data´s gone
and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.

Yesterday, The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data what all hier to stay,
I believe in yesterday.

Multimedia für Jugendliche und junge Erwachsene - MMJ Hoyerswerda e.V. [...]

Windows 95 bis Windows 7
Profan² 6.6 bis XProfan X2 mit XPSE

Das große XProfan-Lehrbuch: [...]

04/02/05 ▲

Melanie
Brayer

Ha, ha.....

But this is extreme Frauenfeindlich!!!!

mele (¯`·.¸¸.{ WinXP Pro, XProfan9, XPIA }.¸¸.·´¯)

<Bugs zählen ist besser als Schafe zählen, da der Computer nur so schlau ist wie der der Mensch der ihn bedient.>

11/08/05 ▲